tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88409098459313920972024-03-19T17:23:35.634-04:00Earl Grey GirlEncouragement in the midst of questions.Kerryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687735401602000974noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840909845931392097.post-17492669699686694292013-02-28T23:53:00.003-05:002013-03-01T10:47:43.142-05:00I am clogging the internet<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">At this crystallized moment in time, I have 68,255 emails in
my in-box. Unread. Well, not completely unread: I have read the subject lines
without opening the actual emails. I have many unread emails because I signed
up for too many business-related (translation: shopping-related) notifications,
and there are just so many hosiery specials or Groupons for canvas-stretched
photos I can acquire. So I don’t open them, nor do I always take the time to
delete them.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The other problem is that I use a forwarding option from my
other email accounts. I have a business-related account (this is not a code
word for shopping-related; it really is my work account) and I have those
emails forwarded to my personal account. I do this because most of my
shopping-related emails go to my personal account, thus I spend more time on
that account. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggEDp4CMXYDzEinhyF_uQNe3V6w1ZMcY_A3vCe9K8PfJuqJVqPGw1pDiYTYqdISKwPpds1oLqn3Yd_1LOs5GZkKSrxTGhEp4DAoRvv4YHGSpzNfWRwwUyoYjyvdmD1DJ4i3dGU92PhXYk/s1600/1-1216221367ByEe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggEDp4CMXYDzEinhyF_uQNe3V6w1ZMcY_A3vCe9K8PfJuqJVqPGw1pDiYTYqdISKwPpds1oLqn3Yd_1LOs5GZkKSrxTGhEp4DAoRvv4YHGSpzNfWRwwUyoYjyvdmD1DJ4i3dGU92PhXYk/s200/1-1216221367ByEe.jpg" width="200" /></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The other account is from graduate school. I do not use this
account, but emails are still forwarded from it to my personal account. I could
put a stop to this, but it would require my remembering my log-in credentials,
which I have forgotten. Also, I would have to cancel all the email
subscriptions on that account, and just the thought of that makes me want to
just give up email all together.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I think I am clogging the internet. When our wireless
atmosphere at home goes all wonky and my husband starts sputtering that he
can’t access the web, I nod and sigh sympathetically. But I say nothing.
Because I am pretty sure my 68, 255 unread emails, which in the last fifteen
minutes have probably grown to 68,265, are somehow contributing to the
wonkiness of our wi-fi problem. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I know the 68,265 unread emails make me seem disorganized,
but I am only disorganized when it comes to emails. And files. I am
disorganized when it comes to paper. When we lived in Ithaca, New York, where
pretty much everyone is very laid back and probably no one owns a file cabinet,
the floor on my side of the bed held my life on paper. I was simply trying to
fit in to the Ithaca laid-back lifestyle, and thus left my Connecticut type-A organized self behind. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYXIlqCMhyphenhyphenFBuCGD1Dt_Y2bNBOg5jIwmDpTowHuLe2QazpvGFJhz1lGtg7AYXzFexA0IHUUnQqMBjJasktwQAQUAtA3n-AR8tsIvSdr22gjdc4eY_ks4nWaH0_7Zn5oyqxND9dic49E0g/s1600/work.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYXIlqCMhyphenhyphenFBuCGD1Dt_Y2bNBOg5jIwmDpTowHuLe2QazpvGFJhz1lGtg7AYXzFexA0IHUUnQqMBjJasktwQAQUAtA3n-AR8tsIvSdr22gjdc4eY_ks4nWaH0_7Zn5oyqxND9dic49E0g/s200/work.jpg" width="200" /></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">In Ithaca, if I needed a certain document, I could just
reach down to the hardwood floor, miraculously find the needed paper, and read
it in bed. If that is not convenience, I don’t know what is. Other people have
to get in their cars, drive to the office and open a file cabinet to look for
that *&$# document. I only had to put aside my glass of wine and my novel,
and “dumpster dive” right next to my cozy bed. As I said, I thought this
convenient. My husband found it appalling. He threatened to call the health
department as the pile grew.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Although there is nothing detrimental to health when it
comes to a pile of papers that also substitutes as a small bedside rug, I
understand his anxiety about my fileless piles. This is a man who presented me
monthly with a printed pie chart of all our (translation: primarily my)
expenditures each month. (For a short period of time, he mysteriously had the
capability to instantaneously track my shopping online. The cell phone he
bought me one Christmas only hindered my shopping progress. More than once, I
stupidly answered his call while at Macy’s: “What did you just absolutely need
for 35.99?”) </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But his compulsion for organization comes in handy: If I
need a child’s social security number (some mothers have children’s social
security numbers permanently branded onto their brains, but I am not one of
them), he simply peers into a labeled file and in seconds finds the number. I
do not keep social security numbers beside my bed, so I like that my husband is
useful in this way.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But I am sorry
I am clogging the web. When the rainbow wheel of death starts rolling on your
computer, it is probably my fault. And I am truly sorry. But there is no way I
am deleting 65,275--make that 65,283--emails. There could be something
important in that email pile, like a Banana Republic 50% off sale, or my son’s email
that joyfully states I am the best mother in the world...except for never
remembering his social security number when he needed it.</span></span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Keyboard image:http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=909</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">File Pile image: http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=30836&picture=work</span></i></div>
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Kerryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687735401602000974noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840909845931392097.post-86202420358397928342012-07-26T19:46:00.000-04:002012-07-26T19:46:31.209-04:00Jumping on the blog-wagon re: Dan Cathy<!--StartFragment--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Life has been a bit crazy for my family, and not a little stressful. So, I took a break from earlgreygirl. I am jumping back into the fray on an uncomfortable topic. I don't really like controversy, but as my writing professor used to say, "To be a good writer, you have to stick your neck out." I write this out of love and concern for all of us who are together on this crazy, spinning planet.</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 111.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 111.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">It amazes me how intelligent people can jump on a bandwagon of hatred so quickly. Bloggers, reporters, politicians et al are ready to burn Chik-Fil-A CEO Dan Cathy at the stake for his opposition to gay marriage...oh, wait, Cathy DID NOT say one word about gays and gay marriage in <a href="http://www.bpnews.net/bpnews.asp?id=38271">the interview</a>. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 111.0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 111.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">He simply stated some facts about his business and family: "We are very much supportive of the family -- the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that." <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Bloggers are making wild assumptions about Cathy’s beliefs from those three sentences. <a href="http://www.chicagonow.com/families-in-the-loop/2012/07/chick-fil-a-and-gay-marriage-love-not-boycotts/">One blogger wrote</a>, “On the simplest level, I wish that Chick-Fil-A's President Dan Cathy had someone like (my friend) James in his life, because if he did he’d easily see that a person’s sexuality does not determine his or her character. He’d see that people who are gay deserve to have the same rights as everyone else.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 111.0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">This is a woman who blogs for the Chicago Tribune. Where in the interview with Dan Cathy does he say anything about his views on a person’s character, or that he does not believe gays have rights? He simply makes a personal value statement about family. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><a href="http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/breaking/ct-met-chicago-chick-fil-a-20120725,0,929023.story">Another piece</a> for the Chicago Tribune stated, “Mayor Rahm Emanuel backed Moreno’s ideological viewpoint (an alderman who says he will prevent Chik-Fil-A from opening another restaurant in Chicago), saying the city does not share the values espoused by Dan Cathy, president of the family-owned Chick-fil-A fast-food restaurant chain.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Really? An entire city is opposed to the kind of family unit Cathy talks about? An entire city does not support the idea of a family-owned business? How on earth does Emanuel have access to every heart and mind in Chicago? Before you take me to task for exaggerating, understand that I am repeating the essence of what Mayor Emanuel stated. Just because someone states he is living out a certain way of life and a belief system, does not mean he or she is opposed to your right to a certain way of living and belief system. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Someone, somewhere will interpret what I say here as “homophobic” even though I have not voiced a single word that can be truthfully interpreted as such. My point is to ask that people stop knee-jerk reactions based on assumptions and media hysteria.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">I am a believer in Christ. I am a registered Republican. I am a woman married to a man. My husband is a pastor. Because of these four sentences, four statements of fact, people--be they Christian, Buddhist, atheist, conservative or liberal--will make certain assumptions about my character, my beliefs, who I love and who I supposedly hate, and I guarantee that most of the assumptions would be wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">If there is something I hate, it is hatred. Hatred caused the tragedy in Aurora; hatred caused 9/11; hatred propels people like the pastor of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westboro_Baptist_Church">Westboro Baptist</a>---which, by the way, simply because he calls himself a pastor and his church “Baptist”, does not mean he is a believer in Jesus. He in no way reflects the Jesus I love and know from the Word, nor does he reflect the character of any believer I know.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">When we lambaste someone for holding a different opinion (especially without truly knowing what that opinion is--like reading a headline and thinking that is the full story), our reaction is not only ignorant, it is hateful. If we are not operating out of love and respect for another’s opinion, whether they be that “crazy” neighbor, the president of the United States, a CEO, a co-worker who is also a lesbian, a teen working out his faith, we will fear and hate what we don’t understand. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><!--EndFragment-->Kerryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687735401602000974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840909845931392097.post-11510382834558826032012-05-23T19:14:00.000-04:002012-05-23T19:14:52.369-04:00The Luscious Fruit of Lies<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><i>Lying lips conceal hatred, and whoever utters slander is a fool. When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but the prudent are restrained in speech. (Proverbs </i><span style="display: none;">Prov. </span><i>10:18-19)</i></span> <br />
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One of my jobs is to proofread articles for the terrific <a href="http://www.theologyofwork.org/">Theology of Work Project</a>, begun by my friend Will Messenger. I just finished proofing "Proverbs" and it is so good, I wanted to quote it left and right here, but I can't, since it won't be published until next week.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/earlgreygirl/th.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="134" src="http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/earlgreygirl/th.jpg" width="200" /></a>However, I can mention that the section on slander and gossip is something every person should read--especially every believer in Christ, since believers claim the Bible to be the living, authoritative Word of God--because just about every worker, every church-goer, every parent and teen (in other words, every person), has known the pain of gossip and slander.<br />
<br />
Most of us have engaged in gossip--from a sip to a gulp-sized portion<br />
--and the result is never good. I know I don't feel good about myself if I talk about another person out of turn, especially since I have known the sting of being gossiped about.<br />
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Slander is similar to gossip, except it is usually more public and more damaging. Two dear friends were the victims of slander a few years ago by someone who had perpetrated a crime but tried to shift blame onto innocent people. Because this person's family was well-known in their city, they made life very uncomfortable for my friends for a while. What made this all the more difficult was that those involved were members of the same church.<br />
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Sinners are everywhere and can especially be found at church. Is that such a surprise? True believers are those who know they are sinners saved by the grace of God, through the sacrifice of Jesus. So, our churches are filled with sinners--but they should be growing in love and wisdom and obedience to God's Word, not in building a rap sheet. <br />
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The Bible takes slander and lying very seriously and warns us to "not bear false witness" (the ninth commandment, Exodus 20:16). This makes sense, since the very first whisper of slander led to catastrophe. In Genesis 3, the serpent hisses a lie to Eve about God--slandering Him as unloving, selfish<br />
--and extends the luscious fruit that traps Eve and Adam, and catapults the human race out of paradise and into the messed up world we live in.<br />
<br />
Slandering our brothers and sisters is wrong, and many times it stems from blame-shifting: we can't face the log in our own eye, so we will try to find a splinter in our neighbor's (Matthew 7:5). Let's not take a bite out of the fruit the "father of lies" dangles before us, and instead have "the tongue of the wise [that] brings healing."<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 11pt;"><i>Whoever speaks the truth gives honest evidence, but a false witness speaks deceitfully. Rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment. Deceit is in the mind of those who plan evil, but those who counsel peace have joy. (Proverbs </i><span style="display: none;">Prov. </span><i>12:17-20)</i></span>Kerryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687735401602000974noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840909845931392097.post-67303663269698589542012-05-06T23:06:00.003-04:002012-05-07T09:08:14.226-04:00No Means No<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">A young woman, petrified, tells her mother that a young man lies dead in her bed. The mother, appalled, asks, “Did he force himself on you?” The daughter shakes her head no, her face crumpled in tears.</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The thing is, the daughter is absolutely wrong. She was forced.</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1606375/">Downton Abbey</a> is a favorite series of mine on PBS. It is written well, has a terrific cast and a decent storyline. Unfortunately, a Season 1/Episode 2 storyline perpetuates the Hollywood-driven myth that when a girl says, “No” she must mean, “Yes,” especially when an ardent admirer is in pursuit.</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Hollywood is not only to blame: this attitude and the one that equates love with violence extends back to ancient times. In the Greek myth, “The Rape of Persephone,” the daughter of Zeus and Demeter is kidnapped by Haides, who is described as “being in love” with her. The Biblical account of Tamar’s rape by her own brother is a more compelling, unromanticized account of a man ignoring a young woman’s “no” (2 Samuel 13). These are two extreme examples of force, and of ignoring a woman’s right to refuse advances.</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">In Downton Abbey, the scene is more subtle. It cleverly disguises rape as a romantic conquest. Mary, the eldest daughter of Lord Grantham, meets a handsome Turkish diplomat staying at Downtown for a weekend hunting party. He is immediately attentive to Mary, who becomes quickly infatuated with the debonair Mr. Pamuk. Disregarding English social convention--and the fact that he is a guest in Lord Grantham’s home--he tricks Mary into being alone with him and grabs her for a passionate kiss.</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">She gives him her first “No!” after he commands her, “Let me come to you tonight.” She reminds him that as her father’s guest, he would be thrown out if she revealed his behavior. She hurries back to the dinner party. </span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Later, despite Mary’s emphatic earlier rejection of his advances, Pamuk has a servant guide him to Mary’s room and he simply walks in. She then gives her second “No,” and he again disregards it, convinced she is already his prize. She tells him she is inexperienced (code word for ‘virgin’) and that this liaison would ruin her reputation. That would again be a “no.” But the guy won’t take no for an answer, and convinces Mary that the act will be “safe” and that she should trust him.</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Mary does not tell her mother these details--she believes she willingly allowed him into her bed; therefore, she was not “forced.” (He died of a heart attack that night, despite his young age and virility.)</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Gavin de Becker, the author I mentioned in </span><a href="http://kerryluddy.blogspot.com/2012/05/pushing-through.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">my recent post</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> about fear vs. worry, writes in the “<a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker/dp/0440226198">Gift of Fear</a>” that a man who ignores a woman’s “no,” no matter the situation (“No, I don’t need your help”; “No, I don’t want to date you”) is not a trustworthy person. Our sons and daughters are getting a completely different message on television and in the movies.</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Downton Abbey nearly had me fooled as well--I did not recognize this as a rape until I happened to watch the episode the other day. Why hadn’t I seen this before? I was probably blinded by the set up of the story, and the seemingly romantic pursuit of a girl by a handsome man. </span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">From the very beginning of his stay at Downton, Pamuk began forcing himself upon Mary. When a person ignores a “no” and continues to fulfill his own wishes, that is force, bullying, and yes, perhaps rape. Let’s call it what it is, so our Marys and our Pamuks can understand the difference.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At least I had the car keys and my wallet. I keep a Bible and some books on the porch--if I also had water out there, I could have survived. I drove Emma to school and then texted my husband my predicament...and then my phone battery died. Yup. Just call me Mrs. Prepared. Yes, I should have charged my phone the night before. Yes, I should have an extra key hidden outside. Better yet, had my house keys in my purse instead of...somewhere else. Where are they, anyway?</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I sat on the porch for a while, the cat complaining endlessly at the window, as if to say, "Why are you getting to have all the fun on the porch? Let me out there!" </span></span><br />
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<a href="http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/earlgreygirl/Door_resized.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/earlgreygirl/Door_resized.jpg" /></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A situation like this can cause one to lose one's temper. But, instead I felt peace. I also felt hunger, so I went to Dunkin' Donuts and blew my diet on a croissant. And then I felt more peace. I waited two hours more for the person I thought had an extra key--the owner--but he never showed. At that point, like any red-blooded American with not much else to do, I went shopping. It was going to be 80 degrees in just a couple of hours, Tim was not due home until 3 p.m., and I had a fleece jacket and a pajama top on over my jeans. And did I mention I was in desperate need of a shower?</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I braved the morning crowd at Marshalls, and not a customer nor clerk fainted from my lack of makeup or unwashed hair. One new polo top and undergarment later (I changed in our garage), I decided to go for a drive, passing through the lovely town of Honeoye Falls. A gazebo on the green was filled with musicians and speakers, and was surrounded by people on lawn chairs--and then I remembered it was National Day of Prayer. I had my Bible, a Diet Coke, and headed to Mendon Ponds Park. Parked by the the water, I prayed and enjoyed creation.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Seven hours after being locked out, I headed back home to decorate the porch with a sign and balloons (I managed to pop two of the four getting them into the car) to welcome home our Emerson College freshman, Maggie. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Emma and her friend Grey managed a forced entry t</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">en minutes before Tim arrived with the keys--she did not want to be late for crew practice. Grateful for our own resident Bonnie and Clyde, I scurried to the loo.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One of the definitions of "unlocked,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">" </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">is "to free from r</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">estraints or restrictions." It was frustrating for me at first to know that the tools I needed for my workday (my computer and phone charger) were locked inside the house, but then I embraced the freedom. Being locked out unlocked freedom from my schedule and typical control of my day. I confess it has been a while since I have devoted most of a day to prayer and meditating on God's Word.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today I remembered to unlock the door before zipping Emma to school. I admit, the thought crossed my mind to do a repeat and unlock my day instead.</span></span><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">....</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Have compassion on your servants. Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Psalm 90:12-14</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span></span>Kerryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687735401602000974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840909845931392097.post-80507365229634439502012-05-01T18:07:00.002-04:002012-05-01T18:13:55.129-04:00Pushing Through<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">A recent race proved to be a character building opportunity for my daughter. A rower, she knows what it feels like to be in pain. Rowing (also known as “Crew”) requires nearly every large muscle group, and a good coach requires tough daily practices in anticipation of victory at a regatta (the rowing event at which several schools or clubs compete).</span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">On the very day she had two races, my daughter was unwell and in pain. The racecourse was cold, the waves choppy, and she was scheduled to be in the top novice boat. She worried that she would get sicker out on the water, and then let her teammates down. “Push through the pain,” her coach and I told her. “We know you can do it--it may actually make you feel better.” </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/earlgreygirl/Oar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="293" src="http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/earlgreygirl/Oar.jpg" width="320" /></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sound callous? Not really: her coach and I both know what she is capable of, and we were speaking truth (the demands of rowing would supersede the pain of the ailment--and yes, I know: easy for me to say!). </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Many times our worrying about a negative result is simply that: a worry, not a result. Pushing through, despite our worry or anxiety, will reap the data that will enable us through the next seemingly insurmountable hurdle: “Hey, that wasn’t so bad!” “That did not turn out the way I expected at all.” “I accomplished much more than I thought possible.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Gavin de Becker, in his excellent (and a bit unnerving) book, </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals that Protect Us from Violence, </span></i><span style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">makes a distinction between situations that cause real fear and the worry that stems from imagination. True fear, which is connected to our intuition, causes action; worry, on the other hand, “stems from a root [word] that means ‘to choke,’ and that is just what it does to us.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">“Our imaginations can be the fertile soil in which worry and anxiety grow from seeds to weeds, but when we assume the imagined outcome is a sure thing, we are in conflict with what Proust called an inexorable law: ‘Only that which is absent can be imagined.’ In other words, what you imagine...is not happening’” (de Becker, p. 292).<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Worry is the enemy of action and “pushing through.” It consumes our imagination--and we make that imagined outcome the reality instead of pushing through to the real outcome! We sink our own boat, if you will, before even leaving the dock.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My daughter pushed through and realized the reality that her body did not fail her, and she actually felt better after the two races (coming in First Place probably helped). How about you? What anxiety about your imagined lack of ability or courage is stopping you from taking action? Pray for strength and push through (as Joyce Meyer famously said, “Do it afraid!”). You can do much more in reality than you can even imagine.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Now to him who is able</span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></i></b><span style="font-weight: normal;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">to do immeasurably </span></i><u><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">more than all we ask</span></i></u></span><b><u><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></i></u></b><span style="font-weight: normal;"><u><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">or imagine</span></i></u><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">, according to his power</span></i></span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></i></b><span style="font-weight: normal;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">that is at work within us,</span></i></span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></i></b><span style="font-weight: normal;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> Ephesians 3:20-21.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> Matthew 6:27.</span><o:p></o:p></div>Kerryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687735401602000974noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840909845931392097.post-1500825991606010842012-04-27T14:57:00.001-04:002012-05-26T17:45:53.234-04:00A Burden Lifted<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times-Roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Ever have the need to “get something off your chest”? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times-Roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">NPR ran a story yesterday about <a href="http://www.npr.org/2012/04/26/151470791/39-years-later-man-apologizes-to-teacher">Larry Israelson</a>, a writer who carried a secret burden for 39 years and who then wrote about the apology he was finally able to make to his seventh-grade teacher. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times-Roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">His "misdeed" may seem trite compared with darker things students have done to teachers: as a twelve year old, he dropped out of a beloved teacher's class because students were making fun of him, rhyming his name with the teacher's, trying to imply something the naive boy didn't understand, but knew was an ugly connotation. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times-Roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Israelson convinced the principal to let him switch teachers, and never told the teacher why. And it bothered him. For years. This teacher had been an encourager to him, consistently helping him and complimenting him on his writing skills, encouraging him in the very career where one day this boy would make his mark as a man.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/earlgreygirl/Treeinpath.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/earlgreygirl/Treeinpath.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times-Roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">As an adult, he felt shame about his cowardice, and having let down this very special mentor. For Israelson, the burden was heavy. Being able to find him and apologize, Israelson said, "was like a huge weight was lifted." <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times-Roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This is a great story, because it illustrates the power of confession, forgiveness and reconciliation. Relieving ourselves of a long-kept secret or sin against another can be freeing, especially when it makes forgiveness and reconciliation possible. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times-Roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The darker side to “getting something off your chest” is when it is about making yourself feel better, without considering how the person on the receiving end will feel or react. That could implode a solid relationship very quickly, or unintentionally cause harm. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: large;">A counseling session can be a first “best practice” for sharing in a safe environment.</span></div>Kerryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687735401602000974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840909845931392097.post-41777101482088348132012-04-24T20:48:00.003-04:002012-04-25T07:28:19.315-04:00Back to the Tea and Now to Tu<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I know my last two posts were kind of heavy material--my blog is not about theology per se, nor do I want to pound someone over the head with my opinions (hmm...will that work with my husband?). But when I get pumped up about an idea or need to share something I believe in, it bubbles to the surface and must be released! That is probably not the best image. But I won’t hit the delete button, because it is kind of funny and since I just had the flu for a week, humor is a must.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/earlgreygirl/scissors_02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/earlgreygirl/scissors_02.jpg" width="183" /></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></span></div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So, brew a cup of tea and let's talk about my hair stylist. Yes, she is my "stylist." That word makes me feel cool and worthy of her shears. Her name is Tu, and she is originally from Vietnam. She is twenty years younger than I am and I love her 'tude--that's "attitude" in Earl Grey Girl parlanc</span></span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">e. She loves what she does, and like many creative people, she can't explain why she can do what she does. She "just can."</span></span></span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">She was cutting her own hair at age 9, and had a curling iron in her fist when she was 10. She cut hair for fun in high school, but did not consider it job material until she grew bored with computers in interior design school. An artist needs to use her hands.</span></span></span></i><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">When she was in hair school (is that what they call it?), she would watch her instructors carefully, and could quickly understand how to cut the right angles (math-challenged, I would have flunked immediately), and she could also intuit what style would work with a particular client. </span></span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">She told me that when she looks at someone's head, she can "see" how the hair cut should turn out. She has an artist's eye, and that's how she approaches hair styling.</span></span></span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Is there something you just know how to do, but can't really explain how you know to do it? Don't dismiss your capability--it is God-given and probably world-necessary. No woman reading this is going to doubt the necessity and awesomeness of a gifted hair stylist. A good haircut can lift a pound of stress from a harried woman. There are ministries that give away free haircuts and spa days to show the care and love of God, like </span></span><a href="http://serveagoodcause.org/whats-coming-up-next/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Good Cause</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> in Maryland. </span></span></span></i><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">When you discover what you are good at--as long as it is moral and legal (Bernie Madoff was really good at raising money--for himself)--shout it! And then, share it. </span></span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Share your gift. </span></span></span></i><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"Moses told the Israelites, "See, God has selected Bezalel son of Uri, son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah. He's filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability, and know-how for making all sorts of things, to design and work in gold, silver, and bronze; to carve stones and set them; to carve wood, working in every kind of skilled craft. And he's also made him a teacher, he and Oholiab son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan. He's gifted them with the know-how needed for carving, designing, weaving, and embroidering in blue, purple, and scarlet fabrics, and in fine linen. They can make anything and design anything." Exodus 35:30-35.</span></i><br />
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</i></span>Kerryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687735401602000974noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840909845931392097.post-8002853139383392682012-04-24T15:21:00.002-04:002012-04-24T15:23:59.926-04:00What Does it Mean to be Converted?Chuck Colson's death over the weekend has brought the "C" word back into public discussion: not "convict" or "criminal," but "conversion." And that is a good thing.<br />
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Yesterday, I wrote about the very public <a href="http://kerryluddy.blogspot.com/2012/04/chuck-colson-very-good-work.html">transformation of Chuck Colson</a> from a Watergate criminal to a convert who exemplified Christian service and sacrifice for the marginalized in society: prisoners and their families. Washington Post op-ed columnist Michael Gerson <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/finding-freedom-in-prison/2012/04/22/gIQANabcaT_story.html">wrote on Monday</a> that Colson was "the most thoroughly converted person I have ever known."<br />
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Conversion is a mystery--Christian theology has never made the claim that conversion is man-made. One cannot just whip up a quick conversion, though many evangelists have probably tried. Christian conversion involves the Spirit of God convicting us of our great need to turn toward God and away from all that holds us captive: sin, pride, evil. The dictionary defines conversion in the Christian theological sense as "repentance and change to a Godly life."<br />
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Do you want to know if someone is a true convert? Look at his or her life! Let's look at our own lives! True repentance leads to a changed life. It won't happen overnight--though some internal and external change can happen instantaneously. My father, for instance, was miraculously healed of alcoholism. That was apparent to anyone who knew his circumstances: he never suffered the effects of withdrawal. But other changes within him happened over the long term. God's work in us is a life-long project, but His grace and love encourage us to keep turning to Him!<br />
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Colson was known pre-conversion for having few virtues--few people liked him, and many were afraid of him. It would be awful to leave a legacy like that--but God did not let that happen. Colson took no credit for the changes that occurred within him and his relationships--it was a work of God that allowed him to be so thoroughly converted and so thoroughly transformed. He, like every other person who turns to God and away from the prison of sin, became "a new person."<br />
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Colson reminds me of a certain person named Saul, who was greatly feared by the first Christians 2,000 years ago. He believed his destiny was to wipe out what he and the other Pharisees believed to be a blasphemous group. He was going to make it his life's work to throw every Christian into prison or to have them executed.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/earlgreygirl/PrisonGate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/earlgreygirl/PrisonGate.jpg" /></a></div><br />
But God had very different plans for Saul, who was thoroughly converted on the Road to Damascus. He, too, was eventually thrown into prison for his crimes--the very crimes of the faithful he had railed against as a Pharisee. Colson was released from prison for his crimes after only seven months, but lived the rest of his life as a former prisoner truly set free. We don't jail people in the United States for preaching and living out the Gospel (there are countries who do!)--if we did, he would have served a life sentence, like Paul.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" 2 Corinthians 5:17, New Living Translation.</i></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Photo credit: Kairos Prison Ministry</i></span></span>Kerryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687735401602000974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840909845931392097.post-40586974268368880692012-04-23T07:00:00.001-04:002012-04-23T07:00:20.140-04:00Chuck Colson: A Very Good WorkNicholas Kristof, New York Times <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/22/opinion/sunday/kristof-a-body-a-scandal-and-china.html?_r=1">columnist</a> and author of <a href="http://www.halftheskymovement.org/">Half the Sky</a>, posted on Facebook Saturday a short tribute to Chuck Colson, founder of <a href="http://www.prisonfellowship.org/prison-fellowship-home">Prison Fellowship</a>, who died at 80 April 21. What struck me is that Kristoff began the tribute with a disclaimer: "I know this will horrify some of you, but I had respect for Chuck Colson..." and then Kristoff describes the very good work Colson did in addressing the many problems in the prison system, including prison rape.<br />
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</div><div>From the comments the columnist received, one would think Colson had been the devil incarnate, instead of a once-power-hungry human being who "sinned boldly," was convicted and imprisoned, and who, for the rest of his life, reflected the conversion and redemption that he claimed had saved him in prison.<br />
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</div><div><a href="http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/earlgreygirl/header-Colson-Memorial.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="126" src="http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/earlgreygirl/header-Colson-Memorial.jpg" width="320" /></a>Let me repeat that: Colson, for 40 years until his death, led a life of integrity, service, creativity, and commitment. He was not a hypocrite, a snake-charmer, an adulterer, unlike other "church-going" leaders we have seen take a fall in recent years; he was a sinner saved by grace who then served boldly.<br />
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</div><div>He was "<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians%202:12-13&version=NIV">working out his salvation</a>" for all the world to see--except that much of the Western world chooses to call <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+5%3A20&version=KJV">evil, good and good, evil</a>, especially when in disagreement with someone. The sophisticated world has trouble seeing good in Chuck Colson. The comments on Kristof's post were primarily shots at "evil" conservative politics, and the assertion that Colson's Watergate crimes and later political alliances were equally bad. <br />
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But evangelical Christians also had a problem with him in the mid '90s, because he dared to forge an alliance with Catholics. When the document, "<a href="http://www.firstthings.com/article/2007/01/evangelicals--catholics-together-the-christian-mission-in-the-third-millennium-2">Evangelicals and Catholics Together</a>" was published, 100 angry evangelical leaders denounced it, and Colson's ministry <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/30/weekinreview/the-nation-the-hypermodern-foe-how-the-evangelicals-and-catholics-joined-forces.html?pagewanted=all&src=pm">lost one million dollars in funding</a>. Apparently, helping prisoners wasn't as important at that moment as sticking it to a perceived pal to Catholics. </div><div><br />
</div><div>But, it was only for a while. The furor died down, and many came to see that Christians working together, regardless of denomination, is much more effective than ripping one another apart.<br />
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I did not know Chuck Colson personally, but I ran into him a few times while I was working for <a href="http://www.gordonconwell.edu/">Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary</a>. He was a long-time Board member. I remember being in awe--geek that I am--because he was the rock star of transformed lives. I had read several of his books, and had been given his book, <i>Born Again,</i> many years before by my father when I first became a Christian. I remember calling my dad excitedly that I had just been standing next to one of his heroes.<br />
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</div>But a glimpse into Colson's character can be found in a 45-minute car ride with my husband who was driving him to the airport. He asked Tim about his work, his plans for ministry. He wanted to hear his opinion about the seminary. Then, he apologized as his phone rang. "I have to take this--my daughter's calling!" Tim could not help but overhear a loving exchange between a dad and a daughter. A few weeks later, my husband received a signed book from Colson's office. Colson had said he would like to send him one and wrote down Tim's address. This very busy man, with much on his mind and plate, remembered to send a book to someone he had just met.<br />
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<a href="http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/earlgreygirl/125675347.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/earlgreygirl/125675347.jpg" /></a><br />
Like Kristof, I have great respect for Colson--yes, for the prison ministry, but more for his ability to actualize God's promises: that as a child of God, you can be set free from sin and shame--and then move on to do great things.<br />
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I have counseled people who had great difficulty in believing they were truly forgiven for the past, who had not committed ugly crimes impacting an entire nation. It takes courage and faith to face those we have wronged, admit our wrongdoing, then lay that shame at the cross (see Colson's book I mentioned earlier, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Born-Again-Charles-W-Colson/dp/0800786335">Born Again</a>). Of course, there are consequences to our actions: some wrongs can't be undone. But if Colson had wallowed in self-pity, or worse, so much good would not have been realized.<br />
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Kristof was pandering to his more liberal followers in his post, but he, like Chuck Colson, is at least willing to stick his neck out and acknowledge that a life transformed can help transform others--calling what is good to be good.</div><div><br />
<i>Chuck Colson photo courtesy of Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. Click </i><a href="http://www.gordonconwell.edu/about/Colson-Memorial.cfm"><i>here</i></a><i> to read the Gordon-Conwell memorial to Colson.</i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Kristof </span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">photo by Daniel Berehulak/Getty Images.</span></i></div></div></div>Kerryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687735401602000974noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840909845931392097.post-60969966857236194352012-04-22T07:00:00.002-04:002012-04-22T07:00:12.673-04:00What's Your Story?<div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><!--StartFragment--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 16.0pt;">Whenever I see my gregarious father-in-law, he greets me with, “What’s </span><span style="font-family: Times-Italic; font-size: 16.0pt;"><i>your</i></span><span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 16.0pt;"> story?” or the classic, “What’s </span><span style="font-family: Times-Italic; font-size: 16.0pt;"><i>your</i></span><span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 16.0pt;"> excuse?” He is of course implying that somewhere, somehow, me being me, I am causing trouble (probably starting with marrying his son 25 years ago). I think he would fall over if I replied, “What’s my story? Let me tell you the history of me!” More likely, given that we have a jib-jab teasing relationship, the response would be, “Please, I know enough.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><a href="http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/earlgreygirl/tea-in-art-mary-cassat-afternoon-tea.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/earlgreygirl/tea-in-art-mary-cassat-afternoon-tea.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 16.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 16.0pt;">But, actually he doesn’t. And neither do I about him, or my own mother, or even my husband.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 16.0pt;">Everyone has a story. None of us can know the whole story of others, because we are not they. Each one of us has a unique “history of self,” even those raised in the same household. Birth order, age difference, gender, personality--if you have a sibling, or are the parent to more than one child, then you know how these categories and their impact can differ dramatically from sibling to sibling.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 16.0pt;">It is so easy to make assumptions about another person, based on even a few exchanges of communication. But we really don’t know his story until we are told, and until we bother to truly listen.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 16.0pt;">The more experience I have in life (read: getting older!), the more I realize how my account of childhood in the Larson home may lack a certain historicity--authentic history--because it is my perception. I don’t have the whole truth, because I was not</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 21px;">--nor can be--in everyone else’s heads to get their understanding or perspective.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 16.0pt;">So what’s the point of this post? To encourage us, myself included, that to understand one another, to know one another’s stories, we have to communicate and not make assumptions. Sometimes the other person won’t be ready to share; respect that. But, start somewhere. Just ask, “So, what’s </span><span style="font-family: Times-Italic; font-size: 16.0pt;"><i>your</i></span><span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 16.0pt;"> story?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><!--EndFragment--> </div>Kerryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687735401602000974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840909845931392097.post-84647277453685750972012-04-20T21:39:00.001-04:002012-04-20T22:00:00.868-04:00Remember to Steep for 3 Minutes<span style="font-size: large;">Welcome to a blog two years in the making! Most writers would have tapped out that first entry ‘snapdoodle’ after snapping up a domain name, but not me: too busy finishing up grad school, supporting my daughter through senior year of high school, a major move out of state, and supporting my other daughter as she plunged into a brand new high school. Fun times.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, let’s not delay any longer: why Earl Grey Girl? Because Earl Grey is full of Bergamot, which = heaven in a teacup, and conversations over tea are usually much more productive than those over hard liquor. But, I am not opposed to conversations over a nice glass of Riesling or Sauvignon Blanc. I am all about conversations steeped in love and laughter, and in building relationship. Not perfectly, because who can do that, except God? I mess up, especially with people I love, but I would definitely give my little finger for them. Not the index finger, because I need that one to type.</span><br />
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Here are my passions: people; encouraging people, especially women, to pursue lives steeped in excellence and joy in their goals and relationships with others and with God; books; culture; writing; family; and did I mention people? I am a writer, a speaker, a counselor (M.A., Counseling, Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, 2010) and a worship leader. My desire is to encourage readers in their daily lives and to help them find the Living Hope that is Jesus Christ.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And, by the way, tea is not just for women. Ask my husband.</span>Kerryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687735401602000974noreply@blogger.com4